Are we in a gay sports bar?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
