check it out our google latitudes are spooning
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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