It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
