youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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