You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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