doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
