We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
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Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
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It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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