so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
