There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
