do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
