Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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