If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
