On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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