I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
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At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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