i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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