he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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