he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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