she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How does one acquire holy water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize