I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
