Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
