Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
