I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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