Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
are you so shy because you have an std?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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