I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
