Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
...so i touched it.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
