the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This is my gift to your gina
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I enjoy the company of your penis
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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