Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
