More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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