You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
