nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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