Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
