i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
