sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
