Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
