She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
