i may or may not be watching the land before time
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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