WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
"it" just moved
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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