thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
