the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize