Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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