i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
