PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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