Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize