Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
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You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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