Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
it hurts more in the daytime
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Randomize
