A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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