I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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