i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
