Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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