I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
