idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
