Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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