I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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