**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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