everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
