I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
