even my farts smell like vagina
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
