batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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