Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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