You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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