I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
