Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize