I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
